What is ghosting?

Ghosting is when someone completely disappears out of your life and it’s almost as if they were never there to begin with. Spooky, huh? Most people might be familiar with the term “ghosting” in relation to dating, however, the term can also be found in more platonic settings. There are many reasons for why someone might want to ghost another, but in most cases it usually stems from wanting to end the relationship.

Why does it happen? How can you tell if you’re being ghosted?

Maybe you’ve realized that you aren’t clicking the way you thought you would with someone or perhaps you’re trying to shape your life in a different way. Ghosting can happen abruptly as a result of conflict, but it can also happen gradually over time. Either way, it really comes down to one friend deciding to end the relationship. Mary and Sienna talk about the different ways they’ve been ghosted and whether or not they have ghosted a friend in the past.

Ghosting hurts, but why?

Turning to research, Sienna and Mary decide to uncover some of the reasons why ghosting literally hurts and how it affects self-esteem and the way natural opioid releases in the body. Some even suggest taking pain killers to alleviate the emotional pain from being ghosted by a friend!

Research

• Ghosting: the creepy modern phenomenon ending friendships by John Elder for The New Daily.
• Friendship Ghosting: Why Friends Ghost On Even Their Closest Pals by Deborah Tannen for Time.
• This is Why Ghosting Hurts So Much by Jennice Vilhauer Ph.D. for Psychology Today.
• What to Do When a Friend Ghosts You by Korin Miller for Glamour.

What to do if you’ve been ghosted

If you notice you’ve been ghosted, should you retaliate? While every situation is different, it may help to get closure and the best thing you can do in that case is to talk to the ghoster. Even if the friendship is far from salvaging, at least you’ll feel better knowing you got some answers out of it!

Can you stop ghosting?

The short answer is no, probably not. It might not be the answer you want to hear, but if someone wants to end the friendship there is a very small chance that you will be able to stop them from doing so. Mary and Sienna talk about why ghosting is pretty much unstoppable.

Tune in next week for Episode 12: BFF Break-Up: Why it Hurts and How To Recover

Do you have a story about friendship? Good, bad, or ugly — we wanna hear it! Click here to learn more about submitting your story and you might just hear it in a future episode or featured on the blog!

Hosted by Mary Akemon and Sienna Mooney
Produced by Alex Papworth
Music by Max Wallace
Episode illustration by Maddy Vian