Seeing Growth in Friendships

August 11, 2017 — Written by Katie Scarlett

I find our friendships are like a garden, sometimes you find yourself having to work hard in order to see growth and fulfillment, but there are always friends we have who are like the sturdy maple trees in our lives. These friends never waiver, even if we go through hard times, they never wilt if we don’t give them daily love and attention, and they never waste away. Friends like these are the ones we can always wander back to when something bad has happened in our lives, or who we go to when we want to find comfort from the everyday rumblings of life.

“Sometimes you find yourself having to work hard in order to see growth and fulfillment.”

Can you think of one of these friends? I have a few, and I’m so lucky to know them. These friends that know that time is not a factor in friendship, and that even though it may be a challenge, and hell, you may not even say a word for months or years, when you reconnect you melt back into conversation like you saw them just the day before. I think the thing that makes these people special is the fact that often they are people who deeply know us, who also deeply know our lives, and we know them. This depth and love for one another allows us to remove ourselves from the surface level insecurities that come from not having that closeness with others; jealousy, anxiety, fear, loneliness. Do you recognize these feelings in some friendships you have, or as a result of weaker friendships breaking up? I do, but rarely with these stronger, deeper relationships is that the case.

“I think the thing that makes these people special is the fact that often they are people who deeply know us.”

Coming to a place in a friendship where you are both open with each other about what you both need and want is important, and having friends who know you deeply and respect you and your goals is important. It’s just as important to BE that friend for others, but sometimes its hard to know if we’re being that friend, if we’re good enough, if we’re doing enough. I’ve learned that if you’re doubting that, it’s never a bad thing to ask those in your life if there is anything they need to be supported and loved better. Falling back into these friendships is like a breath of fresh air after, especially in a world where superficial and shallow conversations fill our days and never leave us feeling satiated.

“It’s never a bad thing to ask those in your life if there is anything they need to be supported and loved better.”

If you need a push to ask an old friend out to coffee, take this as encouragement to do so. Send them a message and ask them how they have been and enjoy the afternoon falling back into laughter and the comforts of old times over a cup of coffee or sitting by the lake in your pals junky old car. Maybe its been so long that you’ve both upgraded and you’re able to even have dinner at their home surrounded by kids now? Who knows, but offer up your time and see what happens, I dare you!

If you’d like to read more about a friendship from my childhood that is a sturdy maple in my life you can wander over to my bog and I’ll tell you all about her and the changes we’ve gone through!


Katie is a photographer and blogger from the great north. She is dedicated to mental health awareness and helping people see themselves as nuanced, purposeful beings worthy of love and happiness.

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